The Stranger

I feature for this weekend's reflection the (unedited) essay of Mark Elloren, a second year theology seminarian here in St John Vianney Theological Seminary. This was submitted as a weekly reflection for our Christology course. This also appears in his own blog/ multiply site. This Sunday's Gospel has Jesus asking the disciples, "Who do you say that I am?"

+ + +

He became stranger to me.

It was like the silence of two best friends who meet each other in the morning after making love for the first time the night before. They became strangers after exploring deeper the realities of themselves and found out that there was something more in their friendship.

It was like the awkward distance of lovers who meet in an unexpected circumstance after breaking up for many years. They became strangers after realizing they still love each other and that silent love created distance.

It was like that. Jesus became stranger to me.

Talking about Him deeply in our Christology class, I came to realize that there is something more about him. I thought he was just my best friend whom I could share my thoughts, my problems, my heartaches, my frustrations and my joy. I thought He was the Jesus who would take care of me in my loneliness, who will fight for me everytime I lose, and who would run for me like the father in the prodigal son after I make mistakes in life.

No, there is something more to him than just being a friend.

I thought my love for him would make me closer. No, my love for him creates space. Yet that space is a consoling space, a healing space and a loving space. I could not understand this thoroughly. But my point is: after loving him, Jesus became stranger to me. Love, then, is a paradox- it is close yet distance.

Is this the experience of the two disciples walking to Emmaus? They thought Jesus would save Israel from slavery. They thought Jesus will fulfill their desire for a Messiah. Jesus became stranger to them. Yet, the hope was that, the stranger made their hearts burning within. (Lk 32:24)

No words attached, with mystery, with unfamiliarity and with longing, the presence of the stranger somehow made my heart burning within.

It was like the moment, being with your beloved for long- no words attached, with mystery, with unfamiliarity, with longing- and realizing that your beloved becomes stranger to you.